Ram breaks neck in barnyard brawl

They’ve always said he charged at breakneck speed. That proved to be true last week when Ram got involved in a barnyard tussle. He was there visiting his cousin who had just birthed a brand new baby lamb when a fight broke out in a nearby pen between a goose and a piglet. Ram bounded over the fence and threw himself headlong into the ruckus. The involved parties quickly stepped aside and Ram instead rammed a nearby fencepost. The fight was quickly forgotten as everyone laughed uproariously at the unconscious Ram. While cruel, laughing at this is technically part of the Law of the Wild. When asked if his injury would affect his campaign, Ram reported that it was “No big deal. I already walked it off.”