Yesterday, I put down my lunch for literally two seconds to turn my head and see what all the chicken squawking was about. When I turned back, it was totally gone! Stolen! Taken right out from under my chinny-chin-chin! I immediately launched an investigation, but found no one in the barnyard was willing to cooperate. Some even said, “C’mon, everyone gets their lunch stolen now and again.” How ridiculous! Wrong is wrong! My lunch shall be vindicated! I decided to extend the search perimeter and behind the barn I discovered parts of my lunch. Discarded without care. Right in the middle of a thousand goat prints. Am I pointing fingers? You bet I am. Calls put in to Farmer Brown to install security cameras have been unanswered.