Wool-gate conspiracy starting to unravel

The wool shortage may not be a shortage after all. While initial hoof-print analysis outside the wool storage facility initially reported an estimated 12-15 goats were involved in what appeared to be a wool heist, horses have come forward saying they frequently see goats there licking glue off old can labels. The stables are in perfect view of the storage shed, but some have called into question their eyesight. Many horses cannot tell the difference between a goat and a sheep, a pig or a dog. Regardless, additional sheep prints were also found in the vicinity of the shed doors. Could this have been a staged conspiracy by sheep to drive up the price of wool? Sure, goats have benefited from a surge in cashmere prices as well, but most goats can only produce 1/3 of a pound of hair per year. Sheep refused to comment, stating that she needed to attend an urgent shearing.